Title, What title?

First post from iphone native livejournal app.

My first post from my new iphone! These phones can do anything.

Chloe Elise Lamb born July 6th at 4:17 am, weight 7 Lbs 9 Ounces, 19 inches long.

I just finished reading an article on my favorite tech/gadget blog http://crave.cnet.com , http://crave.cnet.com/8301-1_105-9721976-1.html , about a wireless mouse that utilizes the electricity in it's companion mouse pad to supply its energy and thus never needs batteries or a recharge. That is fantastic all by itself. But can't we do better? Is there any reason that we can't apply this concept to electric vehicles that prowl the roads today? Imagine an electronic core of some kind running within the pavement we drive on powering and recharging the electric motors inside an all electric or even hybrid vehicles? I am sure it would require alot of technical research and development to get this concept up and going but can anyone give me a practical reason why it could not work?




And another thing, i am as patriotic as the next person, but after reading about projects like the EV1 electric car, and how GM shutdown a perfectly viable solution to the issue of an environmentally friendly and energy efficient car, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Motors_EV1 , I am having a really hard time having sympathy for the big three automakers. Even if it was not profitable at the time as they claim, i am pretty sure it would be viable now. Why are they not pumping them out of the factories by the dozens now?

We went for another ultrasound the other day. the tech gave us this niffty 3d image of our little girl. He had to try for awhile to get even this small picture for she was not being all that cooperative. anyhoo, i think it is just amazing what they can show you these days. i can only imagine the cool stuff my kids will have when they have their own children.

Here's my baby girl. the newest addition to the family. Baby Chloe! Now almost 22 weeks along.

The relentlessly pursuit of knowledge can become a monstrous draw on personal energy. It can deprive one of the certain essentials of life that keeps a person sane. The all consuming thirst for knowledge can blind the seeker from the very definition of that in which they seek. The answer eludes them. And why? Because their final destination will always continue to be an elusive subject. Never will the thirst be quenched.

The feeling that follows the attainment of new knowledge can be likened to the adrenaline rush of Olympic athlete after the completion of a competition.

More over, the pursuit of knowledge has the habit of producing truths that are unavoidable, not matter how temporary they may be. Whereas a belief can be ignored in a naive fashion, truth has a much more demanding demeanor. Truth, no matter how small, has the ability to force painful changes.

A pursuer of knowledge must be the strongest of individuals. The ability to stare truth in the face time and time again must surely be an exhaustive existence. The stark realizations that become clearer with the calculation of an endless supply of life experiences and motives, demands the observer to mitigate the negative polarity that emotions can cause to such a one. Compassion, love, understanding, forgiveness becomes things of abstract objectivity. Does this mean that such a one has less of an emotional connection with the world around them? Not necessarily. In some ways this one, can be the greatest of compassion's champions. As long as such a one can balance and accept the responsibility that can follow the accrual of knowledge, then they may act as a benefactor of those around them.

I don't think I am done with this.........

Forgiveness is enlightening
Boldness is divine
The soul doth capture
The radiance of time

Understanding decries
The unconscious quivers
Realization besets
The sleeper awakens

The mortal coil loosens
Reality turns
In the fires of time
The soul doth burn

Life is existence
The being shapes true
Tangible senses contribute
Emotions flow through

The journey continues
Emotions and senses abound
The tools of fulfillment
They swirl around

Fate, a cruel mistress
Wisdom, the strict teacher
Love, the compassion eternal
The words of the Lord, the one true preacher

By, Me

Ok. So, I heard my baby’s heart beat for the first time the other day. How amazing it was to feel that tangible connection with my unborn child. Looking at an ultrasound picture is not quite the same as hearing, in real time, the beating heart of the little child that will come to depend upon you for all the ingredients of life. I am so excited to hold my baby for the first time. I never got that opportunity with my daughter, as she was five when my wife and I met. And I think it is and unfortunate circumstance of life that I never was able to form that bond with her.

My wife seems to be bouncing back and forth between the all day phenomenon of morning sickness and feeling half way human. However this is better then the 9 straight weeks of the yuckies we had before. I am extremely happy for what ever relief she may find lately. And as a consequence I believe she might, dare I say it aloud, be starting to look forward to having the baby when it gets out.

I plan on taking my little girl and my wife’s best friend’s little boy out to our local sand dunes for some 4 wheeling in my jeep this weekend whilst they are at a wedding show thingy. My Jeep has been on loan since the week before Thanksgiving to my wife’s best friend because she managed to roll her car on its top and total it. So I am looking forward to taking it out wheeling for the first time in a while. Wheeling is one of my most favorite things. It relieves so much stress. I have always enjoyed the sand especially, so whenever I can get the dunes in particular to wheel it makes me happy.

Hope all is as well as can be with you!

So Christmas was great. Not only for the pleasant intricacies that the holiday constitutes, but more so for that fact that my wife’s morning/all-day sickness seems to have subsided for a brief few days. And trust me, after being sick all day for several weeks, even a few days reprieve can become a vacation in paradise.

However we did have lots of snow for Christmas, which has been a necessary component missing from Christmas for the last few years in our neck of the woods. The gifts were great. Despite her concerns over not performing up to Christmas snuff because of her constitution lately, my wife did a wonderful job with gift selection.

Our little girl received her first Ipod, a tiny shuffle which I think my wife might steal on occasion. I also managed to find an Icat at the last minute to go along with the Ipod and I believe that was a big hit.

I think the only thing lacking this holiday season was dismal turnout for family relations. No one came to visit and very few would answer their phones. I must admit that I am not the best at keeping the family lines of communication open and I sincerely hope to do better in that regard in the coming year.

Anyway, Christmas was quite enjoyable despite the minor irritations here and there. Hopefully the recent spat of decently felt days my wife is experiencing is a signal that the end of her first trimester will spell an end to the all-day sickness. I think we are both quite ready to be finished with that. And I am sure that as long as I keep a steady supply of food craving items then she will not (despite her own proclamation) eat my face.

I find myself to be still thoroughly amazed at how well she handles being in a constant state of unrest either by hunger, pain, or sickness.

I hope all is as well as can be with you.

I got to see my baby move for the first time the other day. It was amazing! Aw the wonder of ultrasounds. The baby is only about an inch long at this point but it has little arms and legs. And boy was it wiggling those suckers around like crazy. I find it increasingly astonishing how much the baby forms in the first three months. Basically it goes from an egg and sperm to a fully formed baby in three months and the 2nd and 3rd trimesters are spent just growing in size and finishing off last minute details so to speak.

Any who, we are still 2 weeks from the three months mark and I am still waiting for my wife to show any signs of pregnancy in her belly! She might not be looking forward to it, but I am extremely excited to see the little baby moving around in there. I want to touch her belly and talk to it.

I would however, not mind moving past the point at which my wife finds herself now. She is sick constantly. All day long, every day. I actually find myself wishing I had not gotten her pregnant. And this was a planned pregnancy. I have go on so many shopping trips to procure all manner of items, none of which seem to satisfy her stomach more then once. Most things I have read, say that the sickness should subside by the end of the third month. I pry to GOD, Buddha, Allah, whoever I need to in order that she might feel better at the end of her third month. I can tell you the next time a woman tells me that men could never handle pregnancy as well as a woman; I am sure as hell not going to be cocky enough to think otherwise. I will just nod in agreement and keep my mouth shut.

Christmas is almost upon us! I took my wife and little girl to get a Christmas tree this last weekend. I took them to their first tree farm experience. A word of advice to any that might care; do what the smarter patrons seem to have done. Go a couple of weeks in advance and tag the tree you want and then go back later and cut it down. Otherwise you may end up with a three foot Charlie Brown wannabe with bristles the texture of cactus needles. However the little girl had fun and that’s what counts. We brought it home and after some rather painful effort had it decorated and are in the full swing of Christmas spirit!

I hope all is well as can be with you!

Merry Christmas! And Happy Holidays!

Should behavior that offends be accepted on the stance that it was not meant intentionally?
My wife, GOD bless her, tells me that I should not take to heart any behavior that offends me if it was not meant intentionally.
I do agree that non-intentional behavior may be forgiven and on a grand scale can mean almost nothing. However, is that an effective excuse? It happened regardless of intention.
An offensive action is still an offensive action. And to tell the truth I did not find myself to care much until she told me I shouldn’t.
Oh, well. I suppose it really doesn’t matter.

On the plus side the problems that plagued the network at the office last week seem to have been rectified. Systems are up and running. Internet and email are running, so I shouldn’t here much of any major complaints. I am hoping to have no more trouble til after the holiday season. That would be nice anyway. Although anyone whom works in IS would know that you never know when something will go down, but it is almost always at the last minute of the worst day. I will keep my fingers crossed.

I love end-user’s on my network. Or as I like to call them “Common Folk”. I just love the fact that the entire server room could burn to the ground and no one would say a thing. But if the internet and/or email go down, it becomes an immediate bitch fest. And of course they all like to make it sounds as if they actually need the internet for “Work”. When in reality they just want a way to screw off. They never realize that the IS department can keep an eye on their usage and content while doing “Work” on the net. Most would be very surprise how much we know about what they do online.

Anyway my pregnant wife is constantly sick lately. Morning sickness my ass. All Day sickness more like it. I feel so sorry for her. I can’t imagine what it is like to be sick every day, all day, with only momentary breaks after a food craving has been satisfied. She is however very apologetic about her predicament and how she treats me these days. She really isn’t that bad all things considered, I think she pulls it off with more grace then I would more then likely be able to muster. I do hate feeling helpless when she feels like this, but I suppose I am getting the better end of the deal here. Better to feel useless, then sick and useless.

Hope all is well as can be.

I am soooooooooooooooooo happy right now! For the past day and a half our internet has been down in my office. I finally got it figured out this afternoon. Turns out the firewall frizzed out just enough to make the DNS service go down and stop resolving requests. Frickin PIX. Oh, well, thank GOD that’s over with.

I am in such a funky mood today. There is an irritant in my life. It is a person. A person to whom I used to be close. We used to have a bond that was forged in cold steel. But now our relationship consists of a frayed rubber band. Not only that but this person seems to be a constant point of contention in my life right now. As much as I would like them to disappear and fade from view, they seem to be like a bad penny that keeps turning up no matter what you do.
I feel like they have become a sore that will not heal. Like a scab that rips open when you brush it against your environment.
I have found myself despising my environment for the harm it may cause me. And for the constant reminder of that harm every time it opens the wound back up.
I find it amusing to think of it as a rose. A thing of beauty that has vicious thorns. I am drawn to the beauty of it. Despite the harm it may cause with its thorns. But you can no more blame the rose for its attractive beauty as you can for its thorns. It does not mean to inflict this pain. And most certainly is properly unaware of it. And a rose has such an array of wonderful qualities that they much out weigh the harmful properties?
Despite the pain, I cannot resist the rose.

One of my favorite sayings or notes from a song I suppose:

To live is to suffer
To survive
Is to find meaning in the suffering

I took my wife and little girl to Disney On Ice last Friday. At the expense of my fledgling manhood I must admit it was a fantastic time.

I had no expectations going in, as I had never been to any sort of show “On Ice”. I was amazed at the production. The story was well thought out. The sets where wonderful. The skaters were simply extraordinary. The level of athleticism was incredible.

We also managed to get to Chuck E. Cheese. I had not previously been to a Chuck E. Cheese since I was ten years old. I found it quite enjoyable taking my own child to partake in some of the same activities I enjoyed as a child.

The only unfortunate point of the trip was the fact that my little girl has just turned ten (these activities were for her tenth birthday). She was already five when my wife and I met and I missed out on the joys of seeing her as a young child experiencing those same things. However she did have a lot of fun as did I.

I look forward to the prospect of taking my next child to those same activities as it becomes old enough. There seems to be a certain sparkle to life in those first early years. A sparkle that is never replicated and always to short.

Hope all are as well as can be.

Sam

A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night." "It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

I woke up this morning and it was 4° outside without the wind chill. I don't think even God himself should be aloud to make it that cold.

However it did snow. My little girl and I love the snow, and my wife likes to watch us play in it from the vantage of a warm window.

So, it's bitterly cold, but at least we have the joy that snow brings. Leastwise it would just be cold and horribly boring.

On top of the bitter cold, I came to work today to find out that the heating system in the office had gone down over night and there was not a reasonable expectation of when it might be fixed. I think work should be like school. If your snot can freeze to your face when you go to warm up the car, then that should be an automatic day off!

Oh well, at least i have a job. Something for which I am especially grateful. So I will just quit being a wuss and go.

Bye all

I found it mildly disturbing that my first post was melancholy and somber. even though that was the manner in which it was meant to arrive, I still find it depressing and disheartening by its very nature.

So, I would like to share some news.

I am about to be a father!

Those that know me might say “But Sam, don’t you have a child already?” And alas this would be a true statement, question, whatever….

The only difference here is the fact that my little girls was 5 years old when she came into my life. I missed those opportunities and experiences that you encounter only when starting from conception onward.

I find myself rising from the slump that the past few months have seemed to bury my under. Is it an permanent uplift? I like to think that I am not that naive. But I also like to hope it is the beginning of the upward spiral that I have been thirsting for. Optimism abounds!

I have made a decision to enjoy this experience to the fullest extent possible! Even the worries and nervousness that is sure to ensue. What a wonderful miracle life is. Men will never truly know that incredible phenomenon and burden that women bear for the continuance of our species. More importantly, in a personal sense at least, the continuance of a family line.

I believe there is a hidden importance that women carry along with the children in their wombs. What far reaching effects are determined on the duality of pregnancy and birth and the women’s choice to endure this trail?

For me, I am hopeful, optimist, excited, petrified, stressed, and nervous about this baby. I am also hopelessly in love with my wife and find that is true that you can love your spouse more with each passing day. What a commitment she makes for me, what a gift to give.

I find that this development has changed on a fundamental level the manner and method of parenting I use with my little girl now. And I will be eternally grateful for that change. It was drastically needed, and dangerously close to disaster in certain ways. No parent is perfect, but every parent can be better. But the change is made, and with a permanence that with persist.

Anyway, I will be a father again, and I am bursting with the richness of life once again.

Hope appears to be abundant once more, and perhaps all one needs to do is reach out and grasp it. But I think the key to happiness in the ability retain constant perspective. Life is always better then it can be. And we rarely have it as bad as we like to think.

I hope all are well as can be hoped for.

Sam